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User blog:Psychomantis108/The Elder Scrolls Sandbox Arena: Golden Ash Yam Championship Aftermath.
After the finale of the Golden Ash Yam Tournament, where Lazarus Grimm's Champion became the grand prize winner of the Golden Ash Yam Tournament, the Arena Announcer looked forward to returning to work in his usual place of work in the SandBox's Arena. Hides-In-Barrels, on the other hand, could feel his reign coming to an end, soon he would have to go back to the drudgery of serving that Brutish Imperial Thug, taking beatings and contant berating all day long before having to sleep on a pile of straw. After spending a month as a respected announcer of the Sandbox Arena, he did not relish in the thought of being forced back to his lowly position of recruiter again. Wishing to prolong this moment for as long as possible, Hides-In-Barrels hoped to host one more event to end his glorious Reign and hopefully wrap it up before the true Announcer returned. Sadly for him, fate had other plans... "Hello Sandboxers and welcome to the Arena!" The Arena is clean and the fighting stables are ready to bring out two more contestants, as we have another little fight- "Cease this Farcical match at once!" The True Announcer bawled, getting a startled gasp from everyone as he retakes his place in his stand, his return is well met by the average Arena Goers, who ensure that he arrives to great fanfare. Normally, being the modest sort, he'd bask in praise and allow it to grow his ego, however, he was too focussed on how enraged he was at his unofficial replacement. "Dammit Argonian this is the final straw!" The Announcer yelled across the Arena as Hides-In-Barrels glanced up from the commentator's box, dumbstruck by the Imperial's sudden appearance. "But... Mr Announcer, Sir... Hides-In-Barrels has done no harm to the Arena, he has kept it going, whilst de boss was away." "Against 'de Boss'' instructions, yes!" The Announcer growled, placing his hands on his hips and glaring down at the Argonian as he grew a little smaller, cowering on the spot.'' "You also made a mess of the blood works, soiled a dozen or so barrels full of fine produce and worst of all you slept in my bed!" "No... Sir... I'd never sleep in the Announcer's bed, never!" "You can't fool me, Argonian! Those skids on the sheets aren't mine! You're gonna pay for that and the mess you've made and worst of all, turning this Arena into a joke. Look on that title card, it looks it was painted in five minutes, with a cartogropher's paint brush, by a clumsy child who's arms had fallen asleep!" "Hides-In-Barrels prefers abstract art as oppose to realism, he believes that they are more expressive." "Yeah? Well when I'm done with you, every portrait of you will be abstract!" The Announcer snapped, looking around from side to side. "Wait... Why is this Arena full? What's going on?" "Hides-In-Barrels was just about to announce another match, he was going to see how many Sacmps Magda Hiltz could defeat within five minutes... unless they ate her first of course." "Bah, mockery! I order this match to be... No, wait, there will be a match today, Lizard! I challenge you to a Duel!" The Announcer's challenge causes the entire arena to gasp as the crowd is taken aback, Hides-In-Barrels almost backs down, wishing that there was a tub of some sort that he could crawl into but alas, he had to stand his ground. "No... Hides-In-Barrels does not wish to die, can't you just hit me? Dueling to the death seems a little... much." "What? Not to the death, you daft sod, I'm not risking getting killed but I am going to tear your tail off and beat you over the head with it." Hides-In-Barrels pondered this, on the one hand having his tail torn off would hurt but on the other hand, the Announcer was too stupid to know that the tail has no bones in it and would therefore not hurt him at all, if used as a projectile. That made this a fifty fifty chance and he liked those odds. He finally had a chance to get his own back on his tyranical boss. "Yes, Hides-In-Barrels accepts!" "Great, Guards, bring my armour!" He called, turning back to his two on duty security officers, stood directly behind him, they both looked to eachother as they decided who should break the news to him. "Erm... Mr Announcer, sir... You don't have any armour, you pawned it for some errotic literature, remember?" "Buggery, you're right!" The Announcer snapped, cursing his luck and inability to manage his finances. "Very well, get me a new set, chop, chop!" The Guards nodded and spun around, rushing out of the arena and leaving the Announcer to look out across the Arena, staring down at his pathetic Subordinate. "Vengence will be mine..." - Within ten, maybe twenty minutes, the Announcer was geared up and ready for combat, he donned some rather old and rustic iron armour but it was more than Hides-In-Barrels had. Neither of them were granted weapons, though weapons would only slow the Announcer down and Hides-In-Barrels was thankful that he couldn't use the stick again. The Two of them stood opposite eachother, staring one another down, seemingly unblinkingly as they cracked their knuckles and rolled their shoulders... well, the Announcer did, Hides-In-Barrels just stood there, legs quivering as he felt the urge to run growing more and more intense. "As soon as the battle is commenced, I'm going to give you a pummeling that the bards will sing about for years to come!" The Announcer's threat should unnerve Hides-In-Barrels but in truth, he was confused by it. "Hides-In-Barrels is... Confused, de Boss normally announces the fight, no?" 'De Boss' looked at him for a moment before thinking on it for a moment and scowling, eventually snapping out at this oversight of the obvious. "Dammit! Someone get in that box and read the script!" The Elder Scrolls Sandbox Arena: The Arena Announcer VS Hides-In-Barrels Hello, people of the Sandbox Wiki and Welcome to the Arena! This week, I, Psychomantis108 will be reading out the contestant's horn tooting section as well as declaring the beginning of the fight. Oh boy as if enough work wasn't dumped on my desk. :S Anyway, let's not Dilly Dally as Mr Cool would say and let's jump right in to the first... kinda, not really... official Arena Match since the start of the Golden Ash Yam Tournament. Am... Am I doing this right? I think so, don't really care to be honest. Right, our first contestant is... The Arena Announcer The Sandbox Wiki's resident Announcer, formerly an auctionhouse saleperson, the Arena Announcer has submitted the following facts about himself. The Arena Announcer is apparently the true identity of the Last Dragon Born, though he doesn't like the attention. He carries around a long sword, which has bested many enemies and a long... something else, that has bested many fine looking ladies. The Announcer, when not busy doing his day job or travelling the world, helping people in need, especially orphans, who he... wait... what is this bollocks? No, the Announcer is a forty three- "Thirty Three!" Forty Three year old Announcer, who's big mouth saves him from having to rough it on the street. The Announcer has lived with his mother his whole life and doesn't spend much time outside of the Arena. "Oi, stick to the script!" The Announcer has only ever been in one fight before and that was against a girl in his third year of primary school, he was almost beaten to a pulp but escaped the beating, when his grandmother stepped out and shoed the little brute off. "Oh, come on! She was huge! '''And she was... what, two years older than me? Cut me a break!" Also, I have reports as to what the Announcer did, during the Dragon Crisis. "Those reports are fabrications, written by my prick brother Pritchard! They're full of sh-" According to his prick brother, Pritchard, the Announcer was actually present during a dragon attack. Upon seeing the creature, he fled the field and locked himself inside the women's bathroom in the nearest tavern, waiting for the creature to 'go away.' "I hate you... So much..." The Announcer specialises in running his mouth off and talking a lot of rubbish. Hence why he's perfect for this job. "Whatever, Mr 'Waste.'" Yeah? Well, at least I didn't hose my pants at the age of forteen. "That was splashback from a trough!" Whatever... Anyway, hopefully his opponent is a little more impressive... Hides-In-Barrels Hides-In-Barrels is an Argonian handyman and Recruiter, here at the Sandbox Wiki. The Argonian has spent most of his life hiding inside Barrels, recently, he's been using this hobby as means to get away from his abusive boss. Hides-In-Barrels isn't exactly new to conflict though as he teamed up with the Dunmeri Warrior, Geoth, to defeat the villainous Xeran, so that they could be free from his realm inside a... barrel. Woah, someone must've been drunk off of their tits, when they wrote that. Anyway, Hides-In-Barrels later went on to assist the Hero of Kvatch and... after that, there's nothing else on him. "Hides-In-Barrels doesn't remember much after that, he just remembers swimming in the purple water." "In other words, he was pissed as a newt..." Right, that's enough scrote tugging, time for you two arseholes to earn your keep! People have come here to see a fight and you shant disapoint them. (Or I'll never hear the bloody end of it.) '''Open the polls! (I've always wanted to say that! :D) ... Polls are now closed! "No! Wait, I need a few more votes!" No, get your hand off of the microphone, you Beef wannabe! *Ahem* Here are the results! The Arena Announcer: 5 Hides-In-Barrels: 7 Do you have a combatant, that you would like to put forward? Feel free to nominate in the comments! Just keep the following in mind... Battler rules *A match in the Arena can only be registered from Sunday to Friday. *Combatants must be characters from this wiki and must have articles. *Combatants should, preferably, have an image in their articles... (Stock images will do, if you can't get a hold of one, I may be able to create your character in Skyrim/Oblivion/Morrowind or via some other means, if I'm given some warning.) *Combatant can posses any ability as it's the community vote that wins the fight. *Polls will be open between Sunday and Friday, combatant with the most votes wins. *Nominated combatants need not belong to the user. *Only character information from the articles will be used in the abilities descriptions, any powers and abilities not mentioned in the article will not make it into the description. *Any changes to the articles made after the character's nominations will not be counted in the description either. Category:Blog posts Category:Sandbox Arena